No kids, this game isn’t for you. I haven’t even started talking about the game, let alone told you the title, and already you know the game isn’t for you. Adults, this one’s for you! I’m full of glee at Bayonetta (kids, you weren’t supposed to even read the title), a game that seems to do everything right but absolutely isn’t for kids. Have I established that this isn’t for kids? Okay 18’s and olders, let’s move on!

Living Up To The Hype


So for far more of last year than I care to remember I found myself increasingly annoyed by seeing things advertising Bayonetta and hyping it before it was even out. I can’t stand publicity for the sake of publicity, especially if there isn’t any evidence beyond “But I heard it’ll be good” to go off of. A good game hype does not make. Knowing this, the developers apparently decided to just make a good game.



Bayonetta’s plot is, as usual, unimportant. You play as Bayonetta, a witch with all sorts of powers and guns. She has two guns that she uses, plus two attached to her feet. Hold on for a second and think, just THINK, about the concept of a witch with a gun on each limb. Does that sound like a good idea? Yes, of course it is. Bayonetta even allows you to customize which gun goes on which limb, so at times you’ll have shotguns and rocket launchers coming from Bayonetta’s ankles. I’m almost too happy to even continue.

Continue I shall! The main draw here is the fluidity of the combat. There are a lot of comparisons between Devil May Cry and Bayonetta, but just forget Devil May Cry for a while (especially Devil May Cry 4), and listen when I tell you that you haven’t had this much fun controlling a completely chaotic video game character in a long time. The controls just work. You’ll see gameplay footage and think, “No way, I can’t pull that stuff off,” but then surprise yourself by learning that, yes, you can indeed do exactly what the game would like you to do at a level that makes you feel quite good about yourself.



Of course the game isn’t just going to roll over and let you defeat it, though. The game can get tough, but the regular difficulty feels fair and the hard feels like a big step up. I like seeing games that have a very clear difference between difficulty settings since, you know, you don’t want the harder mode to be just another few enemies and the easy mode to just give you some extra health. After a while you’ll slip into your groove and rawk the demons in the game at whatever level you feel you can play at.

Bayonetta is just creative. It’s meant to be stylized. The main character should make this apparent enough by her ridiculous proportions and attitude. There’s no way Bayonetta would be a real person, nor should you expect her to be. Don’t believe me? How many people do you know that have a living suit made from their hair? Probably not too many people, and the ones you do know aren’t anything like Bayonetta.

The game is also great when it comes to pa...